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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25836613">My Own Private Hellscape</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/riskitforthebiscuit/pseuds/riskitforthebiscuit'>riskitforthebiscuit</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Hunter X Hunter</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Blood and Gore, Body Horror, Dark fic, Human Trafficking, Kidnapping, Other, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Torture, Trans Kurapika</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 04:00:30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,917</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25836613</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/riskitforthebiscuit/pseuds/riskitforthebiscuit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>How is a boy meant to grieve and grow, surrounded by the wreckage of his life?</p><p>AU where Kurapika is discovered by the phantom troupe shortly after he leaves his village, and the massacre seemingly becomes his fault.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Genei Ryodan | Phantom Troupe &amp; Kurapika</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>42</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>My Own Private Hellscape</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kurapika had always been mature for his age, at times even a bit precocious. Though, he had always still been very much a child, and there had never been a time where he'd wanted his parents more than when he found himself sitting in the back of a strangers car. Once the door clicked shut he immediately had the sense that he had made a mistake. He hoped that this would be one of those moments that should have ended badly but miraculously didn't. He imagined that he would tell his family about it once he returned home, and they would be able to cringe and laugh at his naivete while thanking the ancestors for watching over him. But hindsight is 20/20, and at that moment it would have been impossible to know how bad things would go.</p><p>He couldn't have known that the woman he had met at a nearby clinic had anything but good intentions when she introduced herself. She had been attractive, professional, and seemed almost concerned for his well being; nothing at all like the men who baited children with drug laced sweets that he had been warned about so many times. She had spoken of a colleague who worked at a nearby research hospital that she could introduce him to. They talked for a few minutes, about his plans and her background. She had seemed every bit the medical administrator who had overheard his discussion with a front desk worker and decided to offer her help. So when she had offered to drop him off at his rented room, it had been easy to accept. Even as the car ride drew on longer and further from the hostel, he couldn't have known. Even when his attempt to make a run for it had been thwarted. Even when he put up a fight while being restrained. Even when he woke up disoriented in a dark room, straining to understand the new voices muffled through the door. He would never have been able to imagine what events would follow.</p><p>This is what he told himself over and over again. That he couldn't have known, he couldn't have known, he couldn't have known. Though the chant might have succeeded in lulling him to sleep occasionally, it never truly cured the ire he held for himself. It never kept him from cursing the decision to even take the damned woman's hand when she offered.</p><p>
  <em>"By the way I'm Pakunoda, where are you from?"</em>
</p><p>Nothing, not a fake name nor any rehearsed half truths could have saved him at that point. Hell, he'd been damned the second he set his sights beyond the paradise before him. Never content, never satisfied, and look where it'd landed him.</p><p>It was hard to tell how long he'd spent bound and gagged in the room, which upon further inspection turned out to be a large closet, before the door had opened nearly blinding him with light in the process. He had struggled to turn himself in such a way to gain a better sense of his surroundings, but that was soon put to a stop by a familiar hand pinning him to the floor with by the neck.</p><p>"Listen to me", the once calm conversational voice had now turned impossibly cold, commanding his attention and obedience. She held him there and began asking questions, pausing between each one as if to allow him to answer. After a few rounds of the one sided interrogation, she stopped on one question repeating it over and over. If he hadn't been kept present by adrenaline alone he might have stopped to question why she even bothered when there had been no move to pull the cloth gag from his throat. That was a matter he could ponder later, as the more pressing concern was the lack of oxygen in his lungs. Before he could pass out again another voice cut through the haze, less concerned than one might think the situation would warrant but just as powerful as his interrogator's.</p><p>"Don't kill him, it would be best to leave him alive for now."</p><p>The hand on his throat disappeared along with the cloth gag. By the time he finished coughing and had begun to catch his breath, the owner of the voice had squatted down in front of him and placed his hands on either side of Kurapika's face.</p><p>"What will you do with me?", he practically sobbed out.<br/>
The man before him seemed to completely ignore his question, in favor of staring directly into his eyes. He squeezed them shut as tight as he could, after belatedly realizing that they had probably turned red some time ago. Horror washed over him when the implications of what that could mean settled in. Every cautionary tale and warning that had been drilled through his skull since birth, ran through his mind like a movie reel. He was pushed from fight or flight into a state of hyper awareness.</p><p>The voices from earlier never stopped, and were now more clear. The zip ties holding his hands behind his back dug painfully into his skin. One of the hands on his cheeks absentmindedly stroked the crinkled skin under his eye smearing tears, when he shrank away there was no resistance. When he opened his eyes back up the man had stood up and moved to talk to the woman, Pakunoda, without him noticing.</p><p>"I don't want to finalize our plan of action until everyone is here."</p><p>"Have you heard anything new from the others?"</p><p>"Not yet, but Machi should be the last to arrive tomorrow afternoon."</p><p>"Should I put the kid back in the closet"</p><p>He nodded, "Just make sure he doesn't kill himself"</p><p>With that he was promptly thrown into the closet for what felt like an eternity. He was again left alone in the dark without food, water, or a toilet; he succeeded only in screaming himself hoarse, crying until he passed out, and soiling his clothes. As he lies on the floor after coming down from his most recent frustrated outburst, he finds himself absentmindedly struggling against his binds. Not that it would help as his wrists had long since been rubbed raw, the skin now swollen and crusted. The door opens and the light causes him to flinch and shy away. He hadn't payed any mind to the sounds of shuffling or voices outside of his door as he had been ignored for hours in the dark. But now he was being pulled up into a sitting position by his binds.</p><p>Fresh air filtered in, and he suddenly realized how much the closet reeked. His body riots at being forced into a new position, pain shooting through his neck and back. In the closet he had tried to remedy stiff joints and numb limbs by rolling from one side to another when the sensation became unbearable, but his efforts had ultimately been in vain. A hand grips his chin to angle his head upward, and a cup is pressed to his lips. The same man from before tips the cup to encourage him to drink some water. He is able to get in a few good gulps before choking, and pulling his head out of the grip. Looking up he see's that the man is this time accompanied by a woman with pink hair, and a shorter man. He sees that there is something in the woman's hands but before he can completely take in the scene before him, his head is pulled up again and he is forced to finish the cup quickly. The water leaves his stomach uncomfortably full, and he feels almost more thirsty than before.</p><p>"We are going to take your eyes, those of your family have already been collected. They are dead, and you will join them soon." The man holding his head in place says all of this with a calm demeanor as if he were simply a cashier regurgitating a mandatory greeting. After waiting beat he looks to his companion with the pink hair and motions for her to hold out what is in her hands. Kurapika knows what it is with barely a glance and chooses to focus instead on the person speaking.</p><p>"This is the eye of a child, probably around your age, maybe a friend. She lacked the self control that you do and her eyes were red the moment she saw us, they stayed red too."</p><p>Rumors of 'Real Scarlet Eyes discovered on the black market made their way through the wood works every few years. They were never the real deal, always turning out to be either artificially made or taken from a person with ocular albinism. He knew that what was contained in the jar before him was a fake, and that the people holding him were lying to get a reaction out of him. Even so he knew that if he were to look or even linger on the thought that he would lose control. He could not afford to do so right now, his life and the lives of his clansmen were at stake. This is what kept his breathing even, what kept his eyes brown and fixed forward.<br/>
The man, presumably the leader of the bunch, tightened his grip and tilted his head to the side.</p><p>"How cold, you won't even dignify that with response?"<br/>
Kurapika scoffed and closed his eyes, feigning indifference. At that his head was shook roughly, and the leader said, "Open your eyes.", in the same commanding tone from earlier.</p><p>He obeys promptly, startled at the cruelty of the action, his brows crease. "Do you think that I cannot tell the difference between what is real and what is fake?", he bites out. Something glints in the other's eyes briefly, but he doesn't have time to worry himself over that before his head is dropped abruptly and a foot kicks him in the stomach. The door is shut and he scrambles to push himself upright after catching his breath. From what he can tell his captors have not moved far from the closet. The voices were soft but audible, if he was able to keep his breathing under control he would easily be able to understand them. As it were he was only able to make out bits and pieces of the conversation.</p><p>“worried it might... keep”</p><p>“... our reputation”</p><p>“If he behaves”</p><p>“... the others... come on”</p><p>Footsteps began to fade away and with them, his only hope for more information. He had to get away from these people fast if he wanted any chance at survival. Though he was able to keep up a brave face during the encounter, he was deeply shaken. His captors were not some run of the mill thugs, they had planned this thoroughly. His eyes were no surprise for them, and they had either been able to easily procure some fakes, or they had been watching him for enough time to prepare. Just the thought was able to work him up more and he began huffing out small sobs, tears spilling from his (surely by now scarlet) eyes, and mucus clogged his nose and throat. He couldn’t think, he couldn’t breath, if he were able he would run but his body was too tightly wound to move. Before he could completely descend into panic, the door was once again ripped open revealing Pakunoda before him. She roughly grabbed his feet and cut the binds around his ankles. Then she stood pulling him up with her. He could hardly stand let alone walk, so he ended up being dragged along with her. She took him from the corridor where the closet was, through what appeared to be a kitchen and dining area where he is practically blinded by daylight. He had been under the impression that it was night, but it made sense that he had lost track of time while in the closet. She didn’t allow him to adjust to the natural light, dragging him down a dark staircase into a large dimly lit basement. The building was apparently much more heavily populated than he previously guessed, in addition to Pakunoda and the three from before there were nine others in the basement. Against the wall furthest from the stairs was what appeared to be wooden pallets draped in a tarp. Next to it the man he had guessed was the leader stood leaning against the wall. He straightened up as if to address the room, Pakunoda released her grip on Kurapika and allowed him to drop to the floor. Struggling to control his emotions, he glued his eyes to the floor.</p><p>“There has been a change of plans, the Kurta will remain with us until the eyes are sold”, Kurapika flinched at that. They had more than one fake? “We will be traveling separately to the safe house, splitting the cargo between us. Shalnark in addition to rearranging our transportation, I’m need you to accompany me with the Kurta.”</p><p>The man continued on regarding the details, after a while others would interject with their questions and ideas. Kurapika could hardly pay attention to what was being said as questions raced through his mind. <em>Where are they taking me? Are they gonna kill me? Will they be able to find the rest of us?</em> At some point he realized that their meeting must have ended, because people were talking individually and slowly filtering from the room. He cursed himself for not taking full advantage of the front row seat to their discussion.</p><p>A boy probably no more than a couple of years older than him, walked up and began to talk to Pakunoda.“When was the last time he ate?”</p><p>“The morning I took him, so about four days.”</p><p>His stomach dropped, <em>four days</em>, it hadn't felt that long. He couldn’t be sure that she was telling the truth, but it seemed like a bit much to keep up the charade with an associate, just for him.</p><p>“That’s not too bad but I’ll have to make sure and feed him before me and the boss go. It’d be best to clean him up a bit too, since we’re flying commercial.”, he said all too cheerfully.</p><p>“Well be careful, kid’s a live wire when he’s at his best, and you can’t use black voice forever.”</p><p>“You worry too much, plus once we’re at the safe house Feitan is in charge of keeping him under control.”</p><p>“So we aren’t going to sell him, just his eyes?”</p><p>“I don’t know what the boss’s plan is long term, but if it were me I would take advantage of the demand we’ve created.”</p><p>“The last Kurta will fetch a pretty penny.”</p><p>Kurapika couldn’t take it anymore, “SHUT UP!”</p><p>The conversation screeched to a halt as Pakunoda and the blonde boy stared him down. He glared right back with blazing eyes. It didn’t matter if his eyes were red, he was sick of their intimidation tactics. He was about begin demanding answers, when his head was forced backwards by a hand in his hair.</p><p>“Don’t speak without permission again.” It was the short man from before.</p><p>“Let go of me!”, Kurapika yelled anyways, attempting to thrash out of the grip.</p><p>The hand in his hair tightened, “Speak again and I break a arm.”</p><p>“No don’t!”, shouted the older boy.</p><p>“Won’t hurt, just teach a lesson.”</p><p>“I do not care, do what you want with me, but you will not hurt the rest of us!”, at that his arm was grabbed roughly and twisted, but before it could snap they were interrupted again.</p><p>“It’s a bit too late for all of that don’t you think, you heard our plans.” It was the leader who directed this at him, but he didn’t hold back.</p><p>“I am not stupid, your talk does not scare me!”</p><p>“You barely glanced at the eye from before, but I’ll let you have a better look.”</p><p>Kurapika was dropped to the floor once again only to be dragged by the leader to the tarp covered pallets. The covering was folded back, and Kurapika suddenly felt a sensation of falling, as if he'd suddenly been pushed from a great height. Rows of canisters were lined up neatly before him, side by side the glass reflected distorted smears of red and white against itself. He had no frame of reference for what an eye would look like outside of its skull, but he hadn't expected this. The quantity was shocking, but the eyes themselves more so; they were suspended in a clear fluid, one per container. They were so still, it seemed like there should be some sort of movement. But, they did not spin to look around or even float idly. Absent of any life, it was easy to doubt that they were real at all. </p><p>“See that, all 36 pairs right here. There's no protecting to be done anymore.”</p><p>The thought was horrifying and he wouldn’t allow it to sit, he was so confused. “Shut up! I do not care about something fake! You do not know where they are!”, he shouted more so trying to convince himself than to argue with anyone else.</p><p>“You sure are stubborn”, the leader replied almost wistfully. “Paku would you mind helping us out here?”</p><p>“Sure thing”</p><p>Kurapika looked over to her just in time to see a gun aimed right at his head.</p><p>She pulled the trigger, and he wished it had killed him.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you for reading!!! Please tell me what you think, any and all feedback is welcome :)<br/>I have never written anything quite like this, but I like reading stories along these lines. If you think I should tag something that I haven't, or if you notice any issues at all please don't hesitate to let me know. Regarding updates, I do not know. There is an outline for this story but like you know how it is...</p><p>P.S I am cis and this my first time writing a trans character, so let me know if I say some fuckshit.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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